Google+ LISTENING TO THE SQUEAK INSIDE art by Kirstin McCulloch of LilliBean Designs

Friday, October 24, 2014

☆ Believe [Friday Art]

Week 43: October 2014

Sitting at my new desk this week, I was itching to paint. Itching to break it in. Itching to see paint splatters marring it's pristine white top.

The problem was I didn't know what I wanted to paint.

I opened up my sketch book.

I found a page to use. 

And I sat there.

Looking at it.

Not knowing where to start.

Not knowing what to paint.

I remembered meeting a beautiful soul at the markets last month, who asked me if my intuition spoke to me through my art. If what I painted was what I needed to hear at that moment. 

Which obviously it does. I've just never formally asked.

So looking at this empty page, I decided to ask myself

"Dear Kirstin, self, tell me what do I need to hear right now?" 

(Yes this was out loud. I am a goof!)

Then I decided not to think too hard about it. I just sketched. I just painted. I just played.

And when I finished, I couldn't figure out what she was telling me...

Something about the sky? Stars? 

So unsure about the message I let her be for a while.

Today as I was preparing to scan her, to write this post, I knew exactly what she needed to hear. 

Exactly what I needed to hear

I struggle at times; am overwhelmed others.

Struggle with doubt verses faith.

Struggle with believing in my self verses hearing my inner bitch.

Every one does.

But today, this is what I need to know. That if I listen to my heart. If I take a chance and trust myself. I will be on my path to my true north.

What about you? 

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Did you know that I send out a monthly love letter with studio snippets, a monthly give away of one of my paintings or products, a free calendar download + more. Click here or on the image below for more + your free downloadable gratitude angel 

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Wednesday, October 22, 2014

☆ How do I find my voice in a world where there are many?

Once a month I send out a short newsletter, where I share what's going on my head at the moment, a free downloadable calendar featuring my art + announce the winner of that months give away. This is a short snippet from October's newsletter that I thought might be of interest + be relevant to others.

"How do I find my voice in a world where there are many?"

I was asked the other day, how I discovered my 'voice'?  How did I make my blog + my art my own?

And I realised that I don't have an easy answer. (Sorry guys now ten step solution here!)

But please, if you are trying to find your own voice, your own style, your identity, don't give up JUST YET!
2011 - 'Beneath'
Still discovering my style
Some days I don't feel like I have progressed very far in my journey. Some days when my little bitch is in full force, I feel I should just throw in the... well, throw in the paint to speak.

But, and this is so important: What I realised early on was I needed to show up. I needed to keep writing + painting. Even if it sucked.

Even if I hated it.

Even if I lost confidence in my self.

And if you are struggling with finding your 'voice' I want you to keep going. Keep doing what it is you aren't sure about. Keep doing what you are afraid of.
Cats Eyes - 2012
Developing the style that I use today
 You see, I re-read some of my very early blog posts + have looked at some of my very early art.

And WOW. Sometimes I cringed. And sometimes I smiled. And sometimes I just wanted to press delete.

Because in the beginning I wasn't myself.

In the beginning, I was so busy reading what I should do, should write about, should paint, that those very early posts seem to be some one else. I swear (like a lot), I throw tantrums, I am definitely not a domestic goddess, my washing is piled up, my kitchen is like a bomb went off + my bed is rarely made.
And it took me a very long time to be ok with that. And I am. Now
2014. How I paint today.

So my answer to that very sweet yet, very difficult to answer question is this: I am so sorry that there isn't a ten step check list to answer this question. 

  • If you keep showing up.
  • If you keep doing what ever it is that you're doing right now that makes you happy.
  • If you keep doing what fuels your desire
  • If you keep doing what makes your soul sigh
Then eventually your voice will shine through all on its own.

Eventually your voice will be true + your style will be yours.

And don't worry if in the beginning if you don't look/ sound like yourself. It's all a part of your journey.

I pinkie swear it. And if you don't believe me check out my first few posts....  or not. Definitely not.
So what about you? How did you develop your style. Are you still working on it? Share with us your stories, your tips, your how-to's - I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
You can read the rest of Octobers News here
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The monthly love letter with studio snippets, has a monthly give away of one of my paintings or products, a free calendar download + more. Click here or on the image below for more + your free downloadable gratitude angel 

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Monday, October 20, 2014

☆ Botanicals Painting [Life Book 2014]

Week 39 - Botanicals: Painting on Paper & Dry Media with Alena Hennessy

This was such a lovely lesson. I loved that this lesson was intuitive, but I didn't feel like I usually do when I paint intuitively.

Let me explain....

I know that mostly I do paint intuitively.

More often than not, I don't know what I will paint until I sit down. I don't know which colours I will use, or which materials I will use.

More often than not, I make decisions in the moment.

I do this instinctively.


BUT as soon as I stick a label on it, like 'intuitively' then I loose all confidence in the way I am painting.

Crazy right?

I suspect this is tied in with my inner bitch. And the fact that she has for 30ish years told me I am not an artist.

'You can't draw' she's told me. 'You can't paint' she's gloated. And now I suspect she is using an almost whisper as she tells me 'You can't paint intuitively'.

I loved Flora's lesson, but the whole time I was painting I felt uncomfortable. And the painting seemed forced. It didn't feel natural.

This one felt easy + it flowed.

I loved it.

I wonder where else, in my life, where I am struggling to break free of past behaviours, I would be more successful, if I was to relabel it!

What about you??

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